I don't believe that I actually lied to Lauren, but I'm not sure.  Anyway, the thing is, I think it was just me telling her what she wanted to hear.  But if I did lie to Lauren, I apologize whole-heartedly, and ask for her forgiveness.  Besides, she can't say that I did lie, because she never knew what I was thinking.  Maybe taking another look at our previous conversations will provide answers.  Sorry, Lauren. Yes, I did admit on here that I was lying to her - I don't know why.  Maybe because I was confused myself.   I read through our conversations on IM that I'd saved, because I couldn't sleep until I did, and not once did I lie to her.  It was the honest truth - all the time, throughout our entire friendship, I was completley honest with her, whether Lauren believes it or not.  I know the truth and have a cleared conscience once again. The only thing I did wrong was tell her that I lied before, in another LJ.  That was my only lie.  And that wasn't even a lie.  I told her I lied because I must've thought I had but didn't!

 

I’m fed up!  Lauren turns everything true I tell her around to make her look good and me to look bad. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry for the choice I made. Lauren was so controlling, she’s also power-hungry.  I have given everything over to God, even my very life, He told me to move on and so did my pastor, with a college / career leader. She hurt Cammy terribly, as she did me, not vice versa, as she will tell you.  I found this out on my own.  Cammy and I have, also, been praying for Lauren.  I was NEVER possessive of HER.  I was possessive of our phone time only.  And the reason I lied to her was because I thought that was the advice my dad gave me.  I was wrong there.  I never hurt her the way she hurt me.  I want her to stop messing with my LJ’s.  She wants to break me and Cammy apart, but I will not stand for that.  I’m so upset with her!  I want her to be happy for me and quit turning to the past.  She needs to learn that she encouraged me to find other friends – who cares if it was Cammy.  I don’t.  I just want her to leave us alone, please!  I like Cammy and she me.  I’ll never stop being Lauren’s friend nor stop loving her or praying for her.